Adoption! Still a taboo?

A joke that really isn’t one

A “joke” we’ve all heard quite often, ” oh you’re definitely adopted” from our siblings or close ones. But for some its not just a ‘joke’ but their own reality.
Adoption, the legal act of creating a permanent family. Despite decades of advocacy and cultural progress, the subject frequently remains shrouded in silence, secrecy, and shame. While the narrative has certainly shifted from the “closed adoptions” of the mid-20th century to today’s “open” arrangements, the question remains: is adopted children ‘accepted’ in the social group?
While technically through legalised system adoption is accepted but still there’s a barrier in social and emotional norms. Judgements and comments are often passed in whispers when one hears “I’m adopted” from the mouth of a child. Though rates of adoption has increased over the years due to high rate of infertility in both men and women, yet both the parent and the child faces cultural disgust and often cornered as the “other”

The mythological story of Karna in Mahabharata calls out on the story of adoption, where we see how delicately and lovingly Radha ma contributes to Karna’s upbringing. Parenthood is not just biological but mostly about emotional connection one can bring about in their relationship with the child. Plenty of children are abandoned after birth in hospitals, dustbins or random places and some get orphan due to mishaps. These misfortuned children find a loving home through adoption. Even the parents longing for children can finally call themselves a ‘family’. Currently in the modern era, single parenthood and same sex marriages has incresed the adoption rate and is sort of accepted. But yet the shame and feeling of ‘disgrace’ lures in the minds of some children due to societal curses and comments passed to them
The ‘Other’, the ones who do not belong. Since the colonised periods ‘othering’ played a significant role is shoving a person or society to a corner as they were ‘different’. Adopted kids often face this as they do not belong to the ‘blood family’. The society, neighbors and even other family members outcast them and see them as if they don’t belong to the family name, though legally they definitely do. There’s various laws for adopted children only to protect their rights as they are often exploited. Laws like the child should get share of assests of his or her parents and is to be treated as their own child.
Adoption requires a long process of interrogation and research by authorities before handing over the child. Various visits and questions to the family and the environment the child is to be brought into. Because its well known how an environment where the child might not be accepted can disrupt the child’s mental and psychological health.
Celebrity adoptions and more nuanced representations in film and television are providing visibility that was previously lacking. These portrayals, while sometimes overly romanticized, help normalize the conversation. They transition adoption from a whispered secret or a painful backstory to a visible, viable pathway to parenthood.
In conclusion, adoption is no longer the profound, locked-down taboo it was fifty years ago, yet the concept of a “real” family remains biologically centered in the public consciousness. This residual shame can prevent birth parents from speaking openly about their experience, maintaining the silence that feeds the taboo. For adoptees, the core tension revolves around identity. The common, seemingly benign question, “Do you know your real parents?” is a cultural dagger, implying that the adoptive parents who raised them are somehow less authentic. This struggle for a fully integrated identity, often played out in the pursuit of roots and reunion, highlights society’s continued inability to fully equate chosen family with genetic family.
However the modernised cultural reforms and education is slowly chipping away at the taboo. But it still persits in its truest form. Only when the adopted child is simply tagged as a ‘child’ is when the world can finally break free from Taboo.